Crumble and Cry
by liccklewritergirllyy
Summary: Lily had always been a relatively strong girl. Ever since birth she had been destined for greatness, but the war... it made her cry, it made her crumble. . Although Lily used to have a hateful relationship with James Potter, she admired his strength. He alike Lily refused to give up fighting Lord Voldermort and his Death Eaters, no matter how much it hurt. -liccklewritergirllyy
1. Chapter 1

Hogwarts had always been magical to Lily Evans. She supposed it was because she had been brought up in the muggle world with her humble parents. Magic was a surreal experience to Lily, but after her eleventh birthday she knew she had magic in her veins. She'd only ever seen glimpses of magic in her life when she was younger, but her sister Petunia had always found these glimpses of magic strange and unruly. Petunia failed to see the beauty of magic like Lily had always done. Like all children, Lily found visits from Santa magical... This had just been one step up from that. However, even magic doesn't last forever, and Lily soon discovered this in the seventh year of Hogwarts. She had known that it had been coming by her fifth year. It was like the strength of every single body in the school had been drained... Some people tried to keep strong though and refused to give in. Although Lily used to have a hateful relationship with James Potter, she admired his strength. He alike Lily refused to give up fighting Lord Voldermort and his Death Eaters. Lily had soon built up a strong relationship with James Potter and his friends Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. So after discovering she had been appointed head girl along with James Potter as head boy somehow she felt... comforted.

As Lily Evans passed through the wall and onto Platform 9 3/4, she felt both nervous and excited. Nervous because of the dark times that loomed above them all like a dark rain cloud, but excited because of the times that still were to come. Pushing her way gently through the crowds of people on the platform, she spotted James Potter walking towards her along with his chilled mates. He seemed to have a stride in his step as his messy, unruly black hair bounced all over the place. Soon, he jolted in front of her, causing the rest of the Marauders following him to fall in a domino effect.

"Ouch! Prongs, you might of fallen for Lil, but we don't want to fall for her too!" Sirius whined, although a cheeky grin appeared on his face.

"I don't think James would appreciate that Padfoot." Remus said dryly, hitting Sirius lightly on the shoulder and helping both of his friends stand up.

"Prongs... You need to be careful.. Remus is still hurt -" Peter squeaked, before being hit harshly on the shoulder by James.

"Hurt? Why what happened?" Lily asked nervously, her face concerned.

"Nothing, I fell down the stairs at home. My mum really wasn't impressed."

Lily Evans shook her head, before blinking twice and offering James her hand.

"Welcome to the crew Mr Potter, looks like now you're head boy we'll be spending lots of time together."

"Indeed it does Miss Evans." James chuckled as he shook Lily's hand.

That moment both of them realised. Just like a light bulb lighting up in their heads they realised... Sparks really did fly.


	2. Petunia and Arguments

Petunia didn't want Lily at the wedding._ She didn't want Lily at all_. Sometimes Lily would just pretend it's all just a bad dream. Sometimes she would blame herself, and sometimes she would just crumble and cry. She'd already tried blaming everyone else. She could blame Snape for approaching her on the park, she could blame magic... For existing? However, she knew if Snape hadn't told her about magic then someone else from Hogwarts would have done so. She also knew that the world would be a much duller place without magic. So to try and make the best of a bad situation, Lily would try and pretend all was alright. She was OK. Although Lily always had the voice in her head, and it always chanted "liar, liar knickers on fire!" All that Lily now had left of Petunia was a photograph of them both on her bedside table. An also, a little bit of hope in her heart that one day her and her dear sister Petunia could still make it up with each other. They used to be very close siblings, although both had extremely different personalities. Lily was young, innocent and excitable. She approached every day to day task in life with enthusiasm and liked her freedom and fun. Petunia acted older than her years, always had a little moan about something in life (if there was nothing to moan about she would make something up) and recently had begun a firm and stable relationship with a guy named Vernon Durlsey. The muggle man seemed to have picked up the bitter tension between the two sisters, and therefore instantly disliked Lily. Lily was never the biggest fan of Vernon; he was an extremely boring man. Lily would tell her friends gingerly, "Petunia's boring, and Vernon's boring. What a remarkable couple." Of course the monotone voice and sarcasm always hid the hurt she felt deep down inside.

As Lily boarded the train with James and the others, she had all these thoughts mingling in her mind. It was seventh year at Hogwarts, and she was soon to leave the world of magical schooling, and moving onto a 'proper' job. Bitterly Vernon crept back into her mind. He had told Lily she would be hard to employ. What with her bad temper, and her 'inability' to get along with others.

"Oh Lily Billy? You away in cloud cuckoo land?" James asked her with a grin, referring to the muggle phrase. Lily remembered her times trying to teach James the muggle language. It failed.

"I'm fine… anyway Sirius, which girl are you with now?" Lily asked, chucking her luggage in the compartments in the train.

"Lily, what are you suggesting? I know I'm a hit with the ladies, but there's plenty more 'fish in the sea.'" Sirius grinned; he had also been present in the muggle teachings. When Lily was playing 'Miss Evans' and teaching them phrases which got them completely tongue twisted and asking completely stupid questions.

"None as gorgeous as you though, right Sirius? I'm not enough of a hit am I? I still haven't ever had a girlfriend! Just because I'm the stupid, 'follower' in the group." Peter muttered, finally voicing his annoyance.

"You really aren't Peter. You know what I'd give to be you Peter? To have not a worry in the world! At least you could look after a girlfriend!" Remus ranted, still sore from the last full moon. Storming off and slamming the door, the others looked towards Peter.

"What the hell Peter? You know how he feels, and you still talk about your woes in life don't you? Gosh, you heard him last night with the firewhiskey! Drinking away the pain and the hurt. The rejection!" James yelled at Peter, while Sirius hit him harshly.

"What's going on?" Lily didn't understand the secrets, "Tell me!"

"I can't Lily! I'm sorry but we can't talk about Remus without his permission to do so!" James told her calmly.  
"Fine then! I'll go and find him myself!" Lily yelled, looking for one angry and bitter werewolf.

**Next chapter is about Lily and Remus's emotional chat!**


	3. Hell, Remus - you're still my friend

Sorry, I forgot to add a disclaimer last time - I don't own Harry Potter :'( *sad times*

_Quick thanks to moosemika for reviewing and following 'Crumble and Cry' and thanks to emorely & Soniaham for following this story too. Stick with me… please? & any new readers, I'm glad to have you!;) Here we are the emotional chat – Chapter 3!_

Chapter 3:Hell, Remus – you're still my friend

Lily had been so angry. She felt rejected by everyone. Yeah, her sister had rejected her… but she had known that was coming for a long time. James… just said it wasn't his secret to tell. Didn't he trust her? Deep down inside though, she knew that if she had a secret, she wouldn't want one of her friends to tell someone else. Even if they got along rather well. She supposed it was just because James never denied her anything in life. Soon Lily felt bitter, and she soon began to feel guilty for her reaction. Lily however, was still very curious about what Remus was hiding. Earlier, Peter had said that 'Remus was still hurt', and everyone had acted like he'd let the 'cat out of the bag', although Remus had shrugged it off and said he'd fallen down the stairs. Hell! Of course Lily never believed it. She spotted young Remus in a carriage all on his own, his head in his hands, and tears streaming down his face… Lily had never seen him cry before. Lily approached him unsurely, and hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Remus. What's going on? I promise I'll never judge, I'm not like that. I know what judging feels like. Hell, I'm judged all the damn time. Of course I understand your anger Remus, I've been angry before, I've spent all night with a bottle of wine before – _and before you ask it's muggle stuff –_ drinking and drinking. They all look at me and they all sneer Remus. I'm not pureblood. Not even a half blood. Even some of Gryffindor look down on me, mostly their fine, you know? It's the Slytherins mainly. They act like they know me. They separate my blood status from the real me. It hurts so much. Mudblood. It's only one word. A short minute word. When someone says it though it seems to become a massive word. Long and drawn out. M – U – D – B – L – O – O –D. That word doesn't define me Remus and I won't let it. I won't let it." Lily sobbed, touching him on the arm.

"I can't tell you Lily. You'll hate me!" Remus sobbed, but leaning into embrace a crying Lily.

"I won't ever hate you Mr Lupin. Didn't you listen to a word I said? Don't let something define you, I can see something is hurting you, so what is it? Remus, why wouldn't you be able to look after a girlfriend? You take gentleman to another level. Teach Sirius and James manner will you?" She joked, but pain was present in her eyes, from the burdens she knew was ever so present in these dark times.

"Lily… I'm… I'm a werewolf. I'm dangerous-," Remus sobbed, Lily looked shocked but quickly recovered.

"You're not dangerous… if you were dangerous, trust me you would of killed James, Sirius and Peter by now. I couldn't live with those saft boys 24/7. Remus, are you only a werewolf once a month?" Lily asked, adding humour into the situation. Remus nodded. "I know you wouldn't hurt anyone Remus, have more faith in yourself. Promise me, we'll get through the prejudice together?" Lily begged, desperate to stop the hurt and pain. _Crumble and cry, or try and cherish the happy moments in life. It's hard…. But if you have friends, of course you can make it. _


	4. Tingling, Sparks Fly!

Thanks to those who have followed and reviewed so far, please let me know what you think & any ideas or things you want to see in the story. I've edited this chapter, as re-reading it I wasn't impressed. When I'm not impressed, I'm not happy ;) - so there you go :)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own. I'm not rich, I'm not J.K Rowling. Short chapter, sorry.. I'll try and make it longer tomorrow.

Lily and Remus now understood each other, and understanding how somebody else feels and thinks helps build a common ground of friendship. Lily and Remus had already got on well before the chat and they also already had a lot in common. They both like books, they both like studying in the library and they both are fantastic at magic. The chat maybe Remus understand though, made he understand he wasn't the only person who was hurting. He wasn't the only one who had problems, who wanted to punch something, who wanted to crumble and cry. Remus understood even more now why James loved Lily. Lily was such a kind-hearted girl, so patient and caring. Remus finally knew why James wouldn't settle for anybody else. He didn't understand why Lily didn't already have a boyfriend… _unless, unless she liked James too? _As Lily and Remus stood up to leave the room, Lily suddenly looked very alarmed.

"Oh sugar! I need to head to the head's compartment! I'm late… I hope the head boy is someone I know… who won't kill me! I'm never late for anything Remus. Only parties. You're meant to arrive fashionably late. So I do. Oh... right. Meeting! Remus, are you coming? You're a prefect right?" Lily asked, as she grabbed the boy's hand and ran to the compartment. Lily let go of Remus's hand, and then opened the compartment door. Lily then spotted the head boy and sighed in relief. It was only James Potter, the guy she had felt anger at not moments ago, but... she understood now she'd spoke to Remus. His monthly problem was his business, nobody else's.

"I'm so glad you made head boy James, I didn't want to get killed for being late! You're not going to kill me, right?" Lily asked, nearly tripping over Snape's foot (_which accidently happened to be there) _as she entered the room. Snape seemed to be trying really hard to upset her lately. He was the one that called her a mudblood... and yet he still carried on teasing her and upsetting her. She would have fallen over if James hadn't quickly moved forwards to catch the young girl. Lily just glared at her old best friend Snape and thought_ 'thank goodness for quiddtich reflexes.' In fact... In James's arms, she noticed he did indeed have a lot of muscles… _She felt her body tingle as he held her, and soon began to worry that prefects noticed her stare at James's body. At least James didn't seem to notice. She allowed herself to relax in his arms. James seemed really angry with Snape though and glared at him harshly as he helped Lily steady herself, "No, I'm not going to kill you… but can you try not to hurt yourself?"

"I'll try." Lily muttered, as she and Remus took a seat.

"Snape, can you please be a bit more careful and cautious of your head girl please? If you aren't mature enough to respect her… then maybe you shouldn't be a prefect. Something to think about." James muttered, noticing the bruise on Lily's arm. He winced slightly, trying to calm himself down.

"James, its fine. Anyway… have I missed much?" Lily asked James, smiling at him warmly for standing up to Snape for her.

"Nearly the entire meeting. Can you just explain the patrolling to them, and then they can leave… pull pranks with their friends-," James started, still holding onto his teasing attitude, despite maturing with age.

"James! Sorry prefects, James is setting the wrong impression. Just because you have all been made prefects, doesn't mean you can abuse your position of power. Anyway, you will be split into pairs to patrol the school on certain nights… make sure you carry your wand on you at all times. Report any problems to me and James. If you are unhappy with your pairings then let us know, but there does have to be a valid reason if we were to perform a switch." Lily told them, sharply but still kindly.

As Lily and James sent the prefects off, Lily smiled at James.

"Sorry I was late James. You're a great head boy you know? I understand why you couldn't tell me Remus's secret. He told me everything… but I want you to know. If you ever need a friend then I'm always here. Always."  
"Thanks Lily," James whispered, finally thinking that maybe, just maybe he had a chance with Lily Evans.


End file.
